CAREGIVING ON THE FLIPSIDE

Also Known As, My Mother's Point of View

“On the Flip Side”

Meaning–Conversely, On the Other Hand, or The Other Side of the Coin.

Today, I have decided to look at Caregiving on “the flip side”. That would also be known as from my Mother’s point of view.

The Flip Side

“I’m going to take a shower.”

Every day at some point during the day, my Mother makes that announcement. I’m sure that she doesn’t like saying it any more than I like hearing it. Therefore, when she says that it is time for her to take a shower, she says it emphatically and with authority. She is in no manner asking permission, she is making an announcement of activities to come.

Looking at things from her frame of reference, I might see that she resents having to basically ask for permission to take a shower in order to make sure that I am going to be in the house. And so, in an effort to exercise a little control over her own life, she proclaims that she is going to take a shower.

Having someone in the house when she takes a shower is not only for her safety but also for my peace of mind.

Looking at the daily shower from the Flip Side.

Then there are the 3 Meals a Day. My Mother insists on eating 3 meals a day—breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My eating habits do not even closely resemble hers and so I often find preparing 3 meals a day a chore.

On the Flip Side.

My Mother is only capable of preparing a few basics meals for herself. She pushes the button on the Keurig Coffee Machine (I prepare the cup with sugar beforehand) and is able to get the Banana and Yogurt for her Breakfast. I am extremely grateful for that because, not having to prepare Breakfast at 7 AM is definitely a blessing.

But then there’s lunch and dinner. Sometimes, she will “opt” for a Frozen meal for lunch. And although she chooses and prepares the meal in the microwave herself, she is typically choosing such a meal because she is more than aware that I do not feel like cooking.

From her point of view, she has little to no control over what she eats. And although I may be an excellent Chef—as I often say so myself—she is not able to “order” specific meals as I consistently remind her that this is not a restaurant, and I am not really a waitress.

I imagine it may be a tad frustrating to depend upon a temperamental wannabe Chef who doesn’t eat three meals a day for daily nourishment.

There are at least two-sides to the story of the Care & Concerns of Mealtimes.

And about the Depends.

Seeing the Depends on the Flip Side.

It had to be something close to “mortifying” for my Mom to realize that it would be easier for all concerned if she switched to wearing Depends full time. And as my Mother will quickly explain, she uses many Depends throughout the day because they are disposable.

And since my Mother is not completely incontinent – meaning she makes it to the Ladies Room 7-8 times out of 10—she disposes of Depends which are not soiled. The Flip Side of using multiple Depends at times which may seem unnecessary is that my Mother is not in in danger of obtaining an infection.

I imagine that in my Mother’s mind, if she is “forced” to wear disposable underpants at this time in her life, she is going to treat them as such and dispose of them freely! Therefore, leaving her feeling fresh and clean and mitigating any shame she may feel in wearing them.

The Flip Side.

The Saying, “On the Flip Side” originated in the days of Vinyl Records and referred to the song on “other side.” Typically, that song was not predicted to be a hit and not usually promoted; thus, it was dubbed “the flip side.” Also referred to as the “B” side of a record (a record is a vinyl disc used to record sound back in the day). Music history tells many stories when the song on “the flip side” actually became the most popular.

The same can be said of the Cares & Concerns of a Caregiver’s Conscience. The Flip Side may be the way to look at things—at least sometimes.

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THE OTHER SIDE OF CAREGIVING