READING BETWEEN THE LINES
The Caregiver Lines
READING BETWEEN THE CAREGIVER LINES
Unless you live under a rock, never watch the news, ignore the headlines that scroll across your email, or don’t find the Oscars entertaining, you are aware of the death of Gene Hackman and his wife of 30 years Betsy Arakawa.
Tracing their steps, Using Technology and Analyzing Autopsy Results, Authorities were able to put together this timeline:
2/9/2025 Betsy Arakawa picked up a beloved pet from the Veterinarian
2/11/2025 Besty Arakawa ran errands: Grocery Store, Pharmacy, Pet Store, and Emailed a massage therapist
2/11/2025 Betsy Arakawa died
2/17/2025 Last sign or Cardiac Activity on Gene Hackman’s Pacemaker
2/18/2025 Gene Hackman died
2/26/2025 Gene Hackman and Betsy Arakawa were found dead in their home
I am not sure exactly why, but this series of Events has had a great impact on me as a Caregiver. To be honest, upon hearing the news, I became sad and discouraged. This news brought home the truth about my Caregiving situation—I have feelings about how this all ends—and they are not feelings that my conscience is prepared to handle at the moment.
Let’s take a look beyond the headlines—between the lines of the 5-Sentence Timeline of Gene Hackman and his Caregiver Wife’s deaths.
And let’s do so from the eyes of a Caregiver.
Reading between the Caregiver Lines…
Betsy left the house on Sunday and on Tuesday to do what was necessary. She did not leave home on Monday. The errands probably did not take more than a couple of hours—a Caregiver’s Curfew. And this Curfew is generally self-imposed.
Betsy Arakawa died of a rare disease called Hantavirus. The incubation period is 2-3 weeks after exposure and then the patient experiences flu-like symptoms. The fatigue, fever and muscle aches last for approximately 4-10 days before turning into HPS which is the ultimate cause of Betsy’s death.
Arakawa was more than likely experiencing the symptoms on Sunday when she picked up her Dog and on Tuesday when she went to the Grocery Store; however, as most Caregivers do—she continued on doing what she needed to do. Because as a Caregiver, if she didn’t do it then, she would have had to do it later.
Besty Arakawa did not take time to rest, visit a doctor or address the symptoms which she probably perceived as the Flu. The Caregiver was too busy caring for her Husband to care for herself.
And then she died.
Gene Hackman and Betsy Arakawa were not found for 15 days after Betsy’s death on February 11th. Much has been written, reported and surmised about the last week of Gene’s life before he passed away on February 18th.
What I noticed most…
In the two weeks after Betsy’s death and before they were found…
No visiting Nurses checked in on the Alzheimer’s patient.
There were no Housekeepers, CNAs or people providing assistance routinely scheduled.
No Family or Friends dropped in to provide a break for Betsy.
Not one person called and found it suspicious that they were unable to reach the couple.
Betsy’s Got This!
She was 30 years younger, presumably healthy and more than likely showed no signs of being unable to handle the Caregiving situation. And she didn’t ask for traditional help.
She opted to keep the love of her life at home and under her care.
Because. Who could have provided any better care? Not a Memory Facility. Not a Team of Doctors and Nurses. No one could have provided the unlimited devotion to keeping Gene alive, healthy and loved better than Betsy.
At the Core of every Family Caregiver’s heart are those exact same sentiments.
It is not always a financial decision to keep a Loved One at home.
Gene Hackman may have obtained excellent care at a World-Renowned Facility specializing in Alzheimer care, but would that care have even compared to Betsy’s loving care?
Gene Hackman had three children. His children have been quoted in saying, “She (Betsy) took very, very good care of him.”
No doubt, Betsy literally kept him alive allowing him to reach the age of 95. He had a good run. Gene Hackman leaves behind a legacy complete with Children, Oscar Wins, and Classic Movies we will watch forever.
Betsy’s Got This!
Betsy Arakawa died on February 11, 2025.
Gene Hackman died on February 18, 2025.
The Family Caregiver died first.
And that fact has impacted me in a manner I could never have expected. I have been deeply affected by the deaths of two people whom I only know through a Caregiver’s eyes.
My Mother is fine, she is well taken care of.
Because…
I Got This!
Or do I?
The answer can be found, “Reading Between the Caregiver Lines.”
This article moved me to tears. Thank you for your service to collect and share the timeline. As a caregiver for my love who has dementia, this story touched my heart.
Well put! I have been both a family caregiver and a professional caregiver. Family care is MUCH harder! And yes, every thought you describe has gone through my mind as a family caregiver.
I just find this whole situation so very sad. All I can think of is the distress he went through during that last week!