THE MEN IN MY CAREGIVER LIFE

It's Raining Men...

Jun 29, 2025

As a Caregiver, my Social Life is non-existence. I rarely get out and I haven’t been on a date since…since I can’t remember.

The only guys in my life are the Crew members at Whole Foods, Starbucks, and the Wine Store. And they aren’t actually in my life. The guys who work at Whole Foods are simply not my type and the Crew members at Starbucks are of many different sexual persuasions.

My imaginary Boyfriend owns the Wine Store. Ok, to be honest, he is really the day Manager of the store. Let’s be serious, he really just does not exist.

Which brings me to the guys in the Senior Living Complex.

First there is Erik. Erik is the neighbor who routinely pulls his Emergency Call chord prompting the Fire Department to respond. But I’ll get back to Erik.

Let’s talk about the Firemen who respond to the Emergency Calls. One day, I burned Microwave Popcorn. You know how that happens sometimes—nothing unusual. Well in this building the Smoke Alarms are extra sensitive—to allow for the mishaps of the Elderly residents. The Popcorn was slightly over-done, and the smoke alarm went off.

I opened the window and the door which caused the Hallway emergency doors to go into action—shut and lock with louder alarms. Within 5-10 minutes, the Fire Department arrived. Four of the finest guys you’ve ever seen. They represented the United Colors of Benetton, and they were gorgeous. They definitely were candidates for the Firemen’s Monthly calendar. They all flirted in their individual manner and stayed a little longer than necessary. Which was cool with me. I even offered them Popcorn, explaining that I am an excellent cook just not so good with Microwave Popcorn.

Ever since that day, I often think of burning Popcorn–just because! LOL. Back to Erik.

Since Erik is our neighbor and the Fireman know him well, they told me that Erik is “Erik with a K.” Well one day in the summer, when wearing shorts and a tank top—appropriate attire for the 98-degree day—I ran into Erik with a “K.” He gave me an extra wide smile and said, “You’re looking quite fit today!”

I simply said Thank you but as I opened the door, I turned around to see Erik looking me up and down nodding his head in approval.

“I’ve still got it!” I thought to myself.

Still got it—the man is well over eighty and routinely mistakenly pulls the Emergency chord. As a Caregiver, am I that desperate for a compliment?

Then there is Tommy. Tommy is a man after my own heart as he daily walks down the street for Coffee. Although, I go to Starbucks for my morning Caramel Frappuccino; Tommy prefers McDonalds coffee. Most days we run into each other making our daily Coffee runs. Tommy always stops me to tell a joke. It’s either a riddle which is very easy for me to solve or a joke that really isn’t funny.

But I listen politely to this elderly gentleman and laugh at the non-amusing punchlines. Tommy then dismisses me with a pat on the back that always morphs into a hug, saying, “See you later Buddy.”

Another male character is Hector, the maintenance manager. Hector is a roly-poly throwback version of Rico Sauve. He is a shameless flirt and the women in the complex literally swoon when he waddles by them with his utility cart. Me—not so much. As I am well aware that I could never offer Hector the unlimited adoration that he receives from the Seniors.

That’s it for the men in my life. A sad situation which I must say so myself!

As a Caregiver, even though the coolest guy in my world is my Imaginary Boyfriend…

“I’m gonna wash those men right out of my hair!” And then I’m going to make some Microwave Popcorn.