FINALLY - NOW WHAT?

I've Accepted that I'm a Caregiver

WHAT NOW?

I have finally totally and completely accepted that I am a Caregiver.

I have learned to sleep with both ears and one eye open. However, I am not sure that I would call that sleep.

At last, I have developed a system for cooking and cleaning that works.

I established myself as the Decision Maker with all medical professionals. Even though these professionals, regardless of whatever Power of Attorney you may possess, would rather deal with the feeble-minded patient. Why is that?

Doctor DooLittle has finally concluded that I will not back down in protecting my Mother’s health interest and defer to his opinion simply because he took different classes in school. Classes in which I am convinced that he earned Cs and Ds.

I have rearranged my entire life to put my Mom’s needs and WANTS before my own.

I learned how to block out the people who say the exact wrong things to a Caregiver. It’s like these people read a list of the 10 things not to say to Caregivers and then proceed to repeat them one by one.

I now have accepted the fact that my life is not my own.

What now?

Finally, I have realized that my Brother provides the absolute best support that he can, and that support comes in a different manner than you may expect. But I have learned to accept the support provided knowing that it is something with which I could not live without. The support simply comes as support for me and NOT support that provides daily relief in Caregiving.

I know that I could not carry on without my Sibling even though sometimes I feel as if I am an only child.

I now realize that a lot of things that my Mother does to annoy me, she may just simply do naturally versus on purpose to annoy me.

I am very much aware of the fact that I cannot change the situation at hand, but I can work on changing my responses and reactions

Finally, I have a routine involving waking up in the morning and facing the day ahead before I even encounter my Mother.

What Now?

I figured out that the best times for me to chat with friends is when my Mother is not at home or asleep

I have created a viable solution to preparing three meals a day and still enjoy cooking

Finally, I have acknowledged that throwing things, slamming doors, and screaming IS the appropriate response. As holding things inside may be hazardous to everyone’s health. Holding things in eventually leads to episodes of the TV show, “Snapped.”

I understand why and under what exact circumstances Caregivers may Snap.

What Now?

When I wake up in the morning, I know where I am, and I don’t spend valuable moments trying to figure out why I am where I am. I use those moments to center myself before I begin my Caregiving duties of the day.

Now, more than ever, I know that I am not the only person in this world that feels this way.

I know that most of us Family Caregivers feel exactly the same way in different but very similar circumstances.

Ok, so in psychological terms, “Finally, I have accepted my current reality.”

WHAT NOW?

Seriously, that may be very mature, healthy, and self-aware of me to come to those realizations, but the question remains the same.

WHAT NOW?

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CAREGIVER - WHAT NOW?